


Jonsa Snapshots

by Ludholtzjj



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Cheese, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Feels, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Seduction, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-10-24 20:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludholtzjj/pseuds/Ludholtzjj
Summary: A series of Jonsa short fics that have absolutely no relation to one another... or basically memes/jokes/quotes/texts/etc. that I saved but could find no place for in my other fic ideas so they've now gained their own home ;D*Happy SUPER Late Birthday Jen, my Birthday twin! Love you darling!*





	1. Love's Keen Sting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tubbylita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tubbylita/gifts), [chocolateghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolateghost/gifts), [MissFit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissFit/gifts), [vivilove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/gifts), [arin_arryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arin_arryn/gifts), [queenofthewolfswood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofthewolfswood/gifts), [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongforjonsa/gifts), [General_Crow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Crow/gifts).



>  
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> EVERYONE'S FAVORITE DRUNK UNCLE IS BACK BITCHES!!!!!!!!! AAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Sorry it took me so long but I got caught up in another fandom and fell behind on all the Jonsa fics... which I still haven't caught up on #I'mLazyAndShouldn'tBeHere. LMFAO fr tho I need to get to reading all these fics if I'm showing back up AND not to mention Season 8 is hitting us soon so like yea bb. 
> 
> ANYWAY I've promised a few of you some fics while I've been gone... and me being me that obviously didn't work out sooooo here we are! Consider this a mini gift before I one day FINALLY get my shit together! 
> 
> THIS IS ESPECIALLY A MINI GIFT FOR MY HOMEGIRL JEN, BC I NEVER WROTE MY BIRTHDAY TWIN A FIC! (Our birthday was Jan. 15th... so like wtf guys I leave for 5 mins and no one writes us a birthday fic?! Shame. Shame. *ring ring* Shame.) 
> 
> ANYWAY I still haven't learned to shut the fuck up, so like let's start this fic! As always thanks for reading my garbage!

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_What's for lunch??_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_I already ate sweetling_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_Oh_

**JON:**

_What do you want?_

**SANSA:**

_:[_

**SANSA:**

_Loyalty_

**JON:**

_Lmfaoooo_

**JON:**

_Don't do this_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how you know you've been gone a long time? Well #1 you realize you haven't read a Jonsa fic since October, #2 as you decide to finally write a new fic you struggle to remember how to tag your fic and stare blankly at the line that says Fandoms* 
> 
> Honestly I'm a mess, pssshhhh and to think I was gonna come back and hold a competition a couple of months ago to see if any of you could win a fic of ur choice off me, who knows how long that poor winner would've waited.
> 
> ANYWAY onto the fic! Welp like I said in the beginning note this is just a collection of random shit I've saved over the years to add to my larger fics if I could, HOWEVER while cleaning out my phone I found a bunch of ancient shit I saved that I could never find a use for and I was gonna delete it but came up with this idea instead! Most of this stuff is just 4 little lines of a joke so like all my updates are gonna be hella short, however it means I'll post more often. Most likely I'll post once a day or like once every 2 days and everytime it'll be something new. I'm not entirely sure yet but I think most of these will fall into the realm of text messages but we'll see. 
> 
> Alrighty darlings you have a fab day! Follow me on tumblr @Ludholtzjj and send me some meme requests or whatever if you want to see something in particular in this collection! 
> 
> BY THE WAY! I'm bringing it back lol... EVERYONE call me Jen or Jenn whatever floats ya boat dolls, we've got a couple of Jen's in this fandom so to avoid the confusion I always give the option also I'd like to be on more intimate terms with my homies


	2. Bun in the Oven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYE I'M BACK AGAIN! ;D

_Margaery Tyrell has created a new chat_

 

**MARGAERY:**

_Text Jon that you want a baby_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_I mean I'll do it, but like why????????????_

**MARGAERY:**

_It's for a psychology project_

**SANSA:**

_Oh okay._

* * *

 

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_I want a baby_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Excuse me WHAT??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**SANSA:**

_I.Want.A.Baby_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_No?_

**SANSA:**

_Oh okay_

**JON:**

_Wait!_

**JON:**

_Don't ask another guy, I'll do it_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL welp I was going to post yesterday BUT it was my brother's birthday and also my husbands... no, not my actual husband sorry darlings I haven't convinced anyone to marry this just yet. But yea it was my imaginary husband Tom Hiddleston's birthday, he turned 38, WHAT A GOD! LOVE HIM! And yea anyway so I had to go out and celebrate and then proceed to take my brother to the airport so he could continue to celebrate with his friends in another state lol. 
> 
> In honor of Tom's birthday I was going to make an entry about cake making with this funny picture I kept but knowing how to bake a cake and knowing how to write about baking a cake are 2 different things, so like yea maybe another time. HOWEVER, I suppose in honor of my beloved Husband's birthday I'll post another part of this fic within an hour or before I go to bed (gotta let this 2nd chapter rack up some views)


	3. Attempted Entrapment

_Rickon Stark has created a new chat_

 

**RICKON:**

_Uhh Jon can I have a soda??????????_

**JON:**

_What did Sansa say?_

**RICKON:**

_…_

**RICKON:**

_She said no..._

**JON:**

_Then why are you asking me?!_

**RICKON:**

_…_

**RICKON:**

_Because she's not the boss of you..._

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Is-is this a trap??????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'd like everyone to please spell check this lol bc I did it without wearing my glasses and it was a GREAT time! 
> 
> Secondly,  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Literally for once, I think that's all I have to say... LMFAO


	4. Bad WIFI Saves Lives

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_What are you doing tonight??_

**JON:**

_Working :(_

 

_Message Not Delivered_

 

**JON:**

_You?_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_Haha I like where this is going ;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's a sad day y'all, ya homegirl thought she was matchmaker No.1! My bestfriend and my other friend were going like a fucking year strong, but alas it wasn't meant to be! They broke up this morning... at least I got a prom date now tho LMFAO! My homegirl said I'm her date now, and I mean I was gonna third wheel in first place so like UPGRADE! No but honestly I feel bad


	5. Every Girl Likes Flowers

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_What's a girl gotta do to get some flowers?????? die???_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Sweetling, look outside_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_Oh_

**SANSA:**

_I love you!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, because it's Valentine's Day AND I'm a procrastinating bitch, I'm doing a double feature so look out for Ch. 6 literally 5 mins from now! 
> 
> Yea so as you can possibly guess, I was gonna post yesterday but procrastinated on work so like hmmmmmmm ya bitch had a rough night, I literally got 3 hrs. of sleep... HA I'm the healthiest bitch out here excuse me. So like yea!
> 
> I decided to do a double feature against my better judgement because y'all know I like them reads and posting twice in one day doesn't help that LOL, anyway I did it mostly because I coudn't chose between the 2 posts lol so why not do both! 
> 
> Originally this ch. was just gonna end with Jon going "...", but I was like GURL if any man's gonna get his woman flowers it's Jon. Speaking of flowers, this is based off a meme post BUT at the same time it's based on me. Literally someone FINALLY got me flowers on my birthday... LMFAO it was my dad... it doesn't count tho because I had to ask for them, no ones ever spontaneously gotten me flowers and that's TRAGIC! 
> 
> If you couldn't tell I'm "ALL BY MYSELF", yea ya homegirl doesn't have a Valentine *cries*, no instead she had a whole pathetic fantasy where Tom Hiddleston was my husband... literally guys I'm not even mad because it was a bomb ass fantasy!
> 
> ALSO EVERYONE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE AND CONGRATS TO MY INTERNET DAD BRAD! HE HAD A WHOLE ASS KID TODAY, AND HONESTLY IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I FELT SO HONORED TO BE INCLUDED IN THE MESSAGE LETTING EVERYONE KNOW WHAT'S UP! DON'T KNOW WHEN HE'LL BE BACK OR WHEN HE'LL SEE THIS BUT LEAVE HIM AND THE FAM SOME LOVE DOWN BELOW FOR WHEN HE GETS BACK!


	6. Bringing Romance Back to Life

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_Can't spell menu without ME N U so what's good baby?_

**SANSA:**

_****…_

**SANSA:**

_You're such a dork_

**JON:**

_Ya but you love me anyway_

**SANSA:**

_;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys LOL I broke, it's still the 14th here but I had ao3 say I posted on the 15th bc my fic was so far down the fandom page list LMFAO. GUYS I'M WEAK, I'M SORRY! I LIKE ATTENTION! 
> 
> ANYWAY! Sorry for the slight delay I literally posted the last ch. right before I hopped in the shower, and then I left my laptop on the bathroom counter so I could post right after... which here I am! Lord I really hope the government doesn't look through your camera's bc BOI they're getting an eye full (not really I got a towel, excuse me but I don't like to walk around naked)! 
> 
> Speaking of being naked, I discovered the joys of sleeping without pants LOL! NOW I'm not so bold as to sleep naked, bc excuse me bitch how?! Like literally I could never, I like sleeping with my Grinch shorts and fucking Mario sweats... excuse me but I'm a fucking adult-child!
> 
> ANYWAY let's stop talking about that bc no one what's to know that, LOL excuse me I'm a dumb bitch. Instead lemme update you on my posting schedule! Alrighty so this is SUPER tragic, I have a LONG weekend BUT I don't think I'll be updating. Unfortunately, ya homegirls gonna get shit faced tomorrow bc I have to get my last 2 wisdom teeth out SO I'll most likely be high on drugs! Ya so if I do post over the weekend be wary fam bc idk if I'll unleash anything upon you in my drug induced state. ALTHO in honor of tradition, GC might get their wish and I might have to come up with a sequel for "Anesthesia"! 
> 
> BTW Imma be enjoying my day tomorrow taking over the living room and watching whatever the fuck I want without opposition (uh did someone say period dramas?!) while attempting to drink a milkshake with a spoon, so like any movie recommends????? It can literally be whatever! … Yo guys I'm upset I spoiled "Atonement" for myself, can you imagine me watching that movie high and then figuring out the ending?! That should would've been FUNNY!


	7. Flirtation is My Specialty

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_I'm just gonna carefully drop a few hints here and there that I might like her. Gotta play it cool, ya know. Don't want to seem too desperate or forward. Keep it low-key, as the kids say._

**SAM:**

_****…_

**SAM:**

_Whatever you say Jon._

 

 

**_* A few hours later*_ **

 

**SANSA:**

_Hey did you eat all th-_

**JON:**

_Marry me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OML so sorry it's been so long! As you can see I didn't die after getting my wisdom teeth out, I was actually fine the day after but I just decided to enjoy my long weekend. It was lit till I went back and got a shit load of work piled on me which has been keeping me busy this whole time, I mean like goddamn these ppl always wait last minute to throw shit at me smh! 
> 
> I was going to post yesterday BUT I went to the fan-night showing of Captain Marvel on Thursday (March 7th) at 10:30pm LMFAO and then I had to get up at 6am the next day, so like I took a FAT ass nap after I got back home. 
> 
> BTW 10/10 would recommend Captain Marvel, it was pretty lit! I mean obv there was stuff I was like meh about but overall a fucking great time!


	8. The Little Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off Imma start by saying, we're literally 7 chapters in (8 now) and I've only reached 312 words... GIRL WHAT THE FUCK???!!!! I MEAN I KNOW ALL THE CHAPTERS ARE SHORT BUT THAT SHITS SUPPOSED TO ADD UP QUICKLY!!!

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_Imagine like. getting married and then moving into your home together. going to bed bath and beyond. getting a nice toaster. ah, love. one day..._

**SANSA:**

_****…_

**SANSA:**

_Jon. We've literally been married 7 years._

**SANSA:**

_If you wanted a new toaster you could've just said so._

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Your mom did tell you it wasn't going to be easy marrying me._

**SANSA:**

_:[_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway on to other things! Sorry I was gone for a while again, had to do some wack shit lol; I had to make a podcast on the 1920s and then like I had a 22 page paper thing to do, it.was.awful #pleasekillme And again I was going to post yesterday but I took a FAT fucking nap (I need to stop napping lol)! 
> 
> ALSO I would've posted earlier but I was stuck in the hell called Chuck E Cheese's, but then I let my inner child come out and I had a goddamn blast... still to many ppl tho lol... jfc I hate crowds. YO CHUCK E CHEESE'S PIZZA STILL FUCKING SLAPS THO! IN ADDITION, I was busy downloading like 45 songs just now, I was like praying while downloading that shit bc honestly my phone can't take much more; with all these songs and memes my memory card is SUFFERING!!
> 
> Speaking of music, I'm thinking about finally making that outline *wink* *wink* my OG's know what I'm talking about! Idk I've just been feeling it lately and not to mention gotta hook ppl in before S8 finishes and the Jonsa fandom gets fucking Thanos snapped! Nah tbh I got like 3 ideas I gotta outline, I'M REALLY FEELING THEM BUT I'M ALSO LAZY *SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION* not to mention it's come to my attention that I never fucking finished "The Right Partner"... speaking of which I READ THROUGH THE CHAPTER AND NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT ALL MY GRAMMAR MISTAKES Y'ALL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY HOMIES LOL! ALSO I was supposed to make 2 sequels to "Confessions of a Hair Follicle" bc my Bro provided me unknowingly with some new writing material LMFAO! 
> 
> Anyway Imma end this here bc it got way longer than I thought! Tbh I'm never gonna learn to write a quick end note, I'm just lucky all of you find my life fucking hilarious LOL! 
> 
> P.S. ONE OF MY OUTLINES IS A CANON ONE AND I JUST REALIZED I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY WRITTEN A FIC FOR THIS FANDOM THAT WAS ACTUALLY SET IN LEGIT WESTEROS! I NEED SOME TIPS POR FAVOR!!!!


	9. Come On Spider-Man!

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_I'm worried about Jon_

**GILLY:**

_What happened?_

**SANSA:**

_He got bit by a spider_

**GILLY:**

_Is he okay????!!!!!!_

**SANSA:**

_Physically? Yes. Mentally? … I'm not so sure._

**SANSA:**

_He was crying after he got bit, so I went to go grab some things to soothe the bite..._

**SANSA:**

_But before I could even walk out the door I heard him quietly whisper "I can't handle the responsibility of being Spider-Man"_

**GILLY:**

_…_

**GILLY:**

_I'll call Sam_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … I took a nap... 
> 
> We got any Motley Crue fans up in here??? I very much recommend watching "The Dirt" on Netflix, their biopic was LIT!


	10. Call Me By Your Name

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_Sweetling_

_8:12 am_

**JON:**

_baaabe_

   _8:13 am_

**JON:**

_honeyyyy_

  _8:14 am_

**JON:**

_sugar_

_8:15 am_

**JON:**

_pumpkin_

_8:16 am_

**JON:**

_cupcake_

_8:17 am_

**JON:**

_puddin_

_8:18 am_

**JON:**

_the longer you're offline the weirder names I'll call you_

_8:19 am_

**JON:**

_cereal_

_8:20 am_

**JON:**

_room temperature milk_

_8:21 am_

**JON:**

_chick-fil-a_

_8:22 am_

**JON:**

_cold McDonald's fries_

_8:23 am_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read Jon's texts with a drawn out whine or a drop dead tone, then you're not doing it right
> 
> Incase you didn't know, I have an unhealthy obsession with Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches and their lemonade, UH THE LORDS FUCKING CHICKEN! 
> 
> I've got a real knack for naps my darlings LMFAO! I wonder if ppl think I'm not okay??????? 
> 
> Honestly if I was Sansa I'd fucking murder Jonathan, literally I wake up at 12... on a good day LMFAO 
> 
> Nothing interesting's happened in awhile LOL, I live an exceptionally boring life so no grand end note today! However we'll see if I think of something later, I was torn between 2 fic ideas today but since I haven't been updating regularly I'll probably post that one too. 
> 
> So catch ya later folks!


	11. Stupid is as Stupid Does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO BACK AND READ CHAPTER 10, THAT'S NEW AS WELL!

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_Have you heard from Jon??_

**MARGAERY:**

_****…_

**MARGAERY:**

_****I'm afraid not darling_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_Oh_

**SANSA:**

_Marge... I think he's ignoring me. I've texted him like five times already_

**MARGAERY:**

_Oh sweetie, Jon reads at a 3rd grade level_

**MARGAERY:**

_He's not ignoring your texts, he's sounding them out. Give him a second_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As home BOI Fitzwilliam Darcy would say, "I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours"!  
> I was going to wait to post this chapter but I said fuck it, LETSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOO
> 
> I love Forrest Gump, that movie's fucking LIT! Tom Hanks is such a dad, ugh love that man! 
> 
> LMFAO I like how no one's called me out on making Jon a complete and utter fucking idiot in basically anything I write, I'm making him the Thor of the Jonsa fandom (if you read Marvel fanfiction you'd know that almost everyone treats Thor as a loving, pop-tart eating idiot... altho I believe after Ragnarok things have gotten better). I feel like it's probably because we're all collectively pissed at Jonathan rn LOL. 
> 
> SPEAKING OF MARVEL FANFICTION, I've got a bone to pick with the Winterwidow/Buckynat fandom! Now that fandoms like my third home, and this is why... TBH they used to my first home that was like my #1 ship but now it's fucking WACK like most people who post in that ship tag, post shit that has nothing to do with them and it is FRUSTRATING! Not to mention that those character/reader fics are getting popular again over there... now I hate to judge fanfiction bc it's supposed to be something where you can freely share your creativity and shit BUT OML I CAN'T FUCKING STAND CHARACTER/READER FICS, LIKE GIRL WHY????!??!!!?!?!?! I swear some ppl forget AO3 Isn't Wattpad 
> 
> Also how I've been coming up with names for these chapters *snorts* lord only knows


	12. Made With Love <3

_Sansa Stark has created a new chat_

 

**SANSA:**

_I make Jon a sandwich everyday for work._

**SANSA:**

_Once, I jokingly kissed it to show him that I made it "with love". But then for some reason it stuck, and that just became the habit._

**SANSA:**

_Make sandwich, give it a little smooch, put it into a baggie._

**SANSA:**

_Except when I'm mad at him. Then that sandwich isn't made with love. It gets no kiss._

**SANSA:**

_Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerk-face._

**SANSA:**

_I hope it tastes like despair._

**MARGAERY:**

_…_

**MARGAERY:**

_You guys are disgustingly adorable._

**MARGAERY:**

_Makes me want to vomit._

**MARGAERY:**

_Although... LMFAO give him hell Sans!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to update yesterday BUT BITCH what a week so far!  
> \- First my BFF's sister ends up in the hospital  
> \- Then my own papa ends up in the hospital  
> \- I barely get any fucking sleep  
> \- THEN fucking Avengers: Endgame tickets go on sale while I'm in class, so I'm like fuck class and whip out my phone trying to buy tickets instead of paying attention ONLY for all the movie theater apps to FUCKING CRASH! HOWEVER ya homegirl got her fucking tickets! It only took me 6 FUCKING HOURS! BUT YEA HOMEGIRL GOT PRETTY DECENT SEATS! LETSSSSS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO! Also lemme share this gem I found, "Successfully booking tickets for Endgame was more challenging than the Avengers actually defeating Thanos"  
> \- AND finally I didn't get any fucking sleep again LOL 
> 
> If you'll excuse me my darlings, Imma go take the FATTEST nap ;)
> 
> Also can your girl get a round of applause por favor? I've FINALLY started catching up on all the fics I've missed in the Jonsa fandom, so like catch me sliding into your kudos & comments LOL
> 
> P.S. Is the premiere making anyone else upset? TBH I wanna cry lol, the fact that Game of Thrones is ending just seems so much more real now


	13. Slap of Reality

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_****I'm single_

**SANSA:**

_…_

**SANSA:**

_Wait, did you just flirt with me?_

**JON:**

_Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMFAO I'M SORRY, BUT YOUR HOMEGIRL HAS RECENTLY BEEN CROSSED IN LOVE SO I'M A LIL SAD! I'M A SAD BEAN :(  
> I'D GO INTO DETAIL BUT I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT *stares into the distance forlornly*


	14. JOHN DEERE

**Sam:**

Explain to me how you two got in an accident. 

 

**Sansa:**

Well we were driving and there was a deer on the road and Jon didn't notice it so I said, "Jon, deer!"

 

**Sam:**

And??

 

**Sansa:**

Tell him your answer.

 

**Jon:**

...

 

**Jon:**

[Sighs] "Yes, dear?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'm slacking folks lmfaooooooo, I haven't really done anything I said I was gonna do during the summer... *sigh* I gotta get on that shit XD HOWEVER in my defense ya homegirl is STRESSED, BRUH my eyeballs are fucking with me rn. It's wild I got dry eyelids so like my eyes are all red and inflamed... I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD HAVE DRY EYELIDS 
> 
> In other news, I'm working on a Jonsa Spider-Man AU, BUT BITCH OOF way harder than I thought it was gonna be so we out here slowly churning that shit out.
> 
> Anyway I'll probably post again later since its been so long so keep an eye out ;)


End file.
